New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
