Porn is love you can see.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
