She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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