grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
