My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
