that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
