we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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