I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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