Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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