Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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