I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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