Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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