Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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