All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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