jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
