just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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