Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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