If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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