Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
