the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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