Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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