The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
