i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
