I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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