I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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