I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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