Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
