sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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