so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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