Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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