i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
