I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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