we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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