i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
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It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
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The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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