She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
