naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize