I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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