yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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