it wasn't lemon gatorade
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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