Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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