Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
