if i can run in heels then i can drive
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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