Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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