Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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