He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize