Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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