btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
