At least make sure they are 18
Why
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
