Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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