i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
