that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
