So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
