I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
