well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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