If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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