If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize