i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Also, beer. Big fan.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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